At that point, the consistency is that of average ice cream and slowly melts to an almost soft-serve like treat. Halo Top is something where people can eat the whole pint, or a lot more than a quarter of a cup of ice cream. One and a half pints into Day Four, I experienced a stomach cramp that I can only describe as cataclysmic.

Total protein consumed: 60 grams.

It bears mentioning that I’m not necessarily a sweets person. One pint Mint Chip I also thought I knew the limits to which my body could go. One pint Cookie Dough While researching potential diets I happened upon this article from GQ that was published in January 2016 about one man’s journey to death by Halo Top ice cream. If I managed four pints a day, that would mean I would be in the range of 1,120 calories and 80 grams of protein a day. In fact, it tastes really, really, good, which makes it a dream come true for people who want to stay in shape but actually enjoy life once in a while. Half pint Cookie Dough Turns out I would never have to worry about it, because I can’t do it. For some context, the average woman is supposed to get 46 grams of protein a day which means this miracle ice cream is providing half of that, given that you shamelessly eat the entire thing. Total protein consumed: 70 gams. It took a minute for the implication to set in that my beloved dairy had somehow betrayed me but once it did, everything changed. While this may have been my third bout of fad dieting, this experience was truly unique in that everyone I know was aware and accepting of what I was doing. Sure, that’s how many it takes to get a healthy number of calories into your body, but I’ve never taken health into consideration during these experiments and I wasn’t about to start now. If you're participating in the keto diet, you don't have to give up ice cream. Overly confident. This guy Shane ate nothing but five pints of Halo Top a day for 10 days straight. One thing I knew for certain: There was no way in hell I was eating five pints of ice cream a day. I wasn’t constantly hungry, as expected, likely due to the insane amounts of protein I was consuming. One pint Salted Caramel

I also may have started hallucinating, but that’s a story for later on.

Step One: Pour the cider of your choosing directly into a pint of Halo Top Vanilla Bean ice cream. Accept it, embrace it, and move on. Es ist kein Scherz. In the past, I’ve either lived at home or worked at places that didn’t foster the kind of office camaraderie that would let me divulge this weird-ass habit. Day One Me would quake in fear before Day Seven Me, who managed to eat a single pint of ice cream in 10 minutes this morning because she was running late to work. There was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was shaped like a breakfast burrito. It was the day that my body turned on me. Shane’s experiment spawned a wave of copy cats like this one from some editors at Yahoo, this one from a reporter at Spoon University, and now me, a staff writer at Betches with an unquenchable thirst for suffering. I knew that it was more sweets than I was accustomed to. Total calories consumed: 1,060 A bottle of Pepto Bismol and a lot of praying later, the pain finally passed. (Spoiler alert: I did that and more). Sure, it didn’t kill me, but it was definitely my last attempt at fitness that week. No red flags here. There are between 240 and 360 calories per pint of Halo Top, whereas premium ice creams, like Ben & Jerry's, have that many …

One of our writers tried the Halo Top diet, where she only ate Halo Top ice cream for a week straight. I’ll include the recipe for anyone who wants to try it out at home. That being said, I would not recommend it as a viable option for the five pages of reasons I just listed above. Total calories consumed: 1,020

I thought that I was unequivocally prepared for this diet because my body thrives on dairy. I don’t know if it was the great Dairy Attack of the day before or if I had just finally hit my breaking point, but I couldn’t seem to force myself to my regular 3.5 pints. Can you imagine having to explain that to people? Better yet, would I want to? Buckle up, losers. Total calories consumed: 840

I went straight home afterwork and locked myself in my room with one of my now trademarked Marionberry cider floats (patent pending) and proceeded to scour the internet for documentaries about North Korea. Wild, right? One pint Birthday Cake In a half-hearted attempt at being festive, I made a float out of the Vanilla Bean ice cream and some Marionberry cider.

Of course, it’s gained a cult-like following of people eating nothing but Halo Top, even including Yahoo editors, who attempted a three-day Halo Top diet … Last, but certainly not least, I learned that it only takes 3.5 consecutive pints of ice cream to start hallucinating dead horses in the middle of the sidewalk that are, in fact, just sleeping dogs. In one of my weaker moments, I ended day two by asking one of my roommates to eat Cheetos so I could watch. Total protein consumed: 74 grams. While I was horrified in the moment, this is laughable now. Find out more about how we use your information in our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. One pint Chocolate Mocha Chip Don’t even pretend to be human enough at this point to experiment with cups. Days One & Two: Curiosity meets hunger. However, while I may have lamented this diet and spent many long afternoons dreaming of quesadillas, I couldn’t deny that the Halo Top tasted good. The Keto series has anywhere … A single pint boasts a mere 240–320 calories depending on the flavor, with anywhere from 20-24 grams of protein. This is about 40% of your recommended daily percentage of protein. Total calories consumed: 660 One pint Pistachio Why is everyone else ignoring the fact that she’s finished an entire carton of ice cream for breakfast? Not “oh, this is passable for diet” good, but legitimately enjoyable. I probably should have asked a doctor what kind of havoc over-indexing on protein and depleting my daily calories would have on my body, but instead I decided to see if I was still capable of exercising like normal. In return, I gained the begrudging respect of my peers and a newfound sense of entitlement this Aquarius both didn’t need and didn’t even know was possible. Sure, I wasn’t completely satisfied with my diet, but it still had a sense of novelty to it. No amount of attempted explanations will make anyone feel better about that. I learned that in some people, good manners and patience run miles deep. The ancient Greeks might have described it as hubris. A Complete Rundown Of The Four Seasons Total Landscaping Mess, Allyship Is Not Selective: How To Keep It Going After Election Day, Time To Get Comfy: Weekly Horoscopes November 9-13, Ways To Keep Your Kid Engaged With Stuff You Have Around The House. So with rose-tinted memories and a new bathing suit that I needed to lose about two pounds to comfortably fit into, I agreed to attempt another fad diet in the hopes that people would read about it, laugh, and then never follow in my footsteps. While I was determined to at least get four pints down on day one and then figure out my regimen from there on out, I tapped out at 3.5. Days Six & Seven: Resigned exhaustion. What no one tells you about eating ice cream for seven straight days, as if there’s a manual for this kind of thing, is that people are going to think you’re insane. I bounced between classes, meetings, and trips back to my dorm room to grab ice cream from my freezer. It was the first day that I woke up actively craving ice cream. He had to have had 100 questions. Some background for those of you who aren’t hip on the diet dessert scene: Halo Top is a low-calorie, low-carb, high-protein ice cream that doesn’t taste like shit. Ice cream and nothing else? While most Americans spent their 4th of July eating hot dogs and getting drunk in the hopes of collectively trying to forget the dumpster fire that we’re currently living in, I spent mine huffing chicken skewers on a beach. We and our partners will store and/or access information on your device through the use of cookies and similar technologies, to display personalised ads and content, for ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I was at a BBQ surrounded by friends and knew the people who had cooked the skewers, but that didn’t seem to make me feel any better. Also up until this point, I was confident. ?” before my roommate reminded me that I had consumed nothing but dairy for the past 72 hours. The calories, fat, saturated fat and sugar totals for Halo Top … As previously stated, the average woman needs 46 grams of protein a day and at least 1,500 calories (if she’s trying to lose one pound a week). In the end, I’d like to thank Halo Top for making this all possible, both through your donation and for creating an ice cream that gave me a platform to further explore my self-destructive habits. These are her stories. The premise alone was so funny that I immediately reached out to Halo Top, asking them for a generous donation to supply my experiment without taking a minute to think about the ramifications or even the logistics of eating nothing but ice cream for an extended period of time.

That was not the case this time around. When I first started telling people about this idea, most had the same initial reaction which was something along the lines of “Holy shit, that’s a lot of dairy.

I had no filter, no social graces, and not a single care other than letting the world know just how dissatisfied I was and potentially taking them down with me. This entire saga is my formal apology to him. Total protein consumed: 70 grams. This is going to be incredible, I thought as I giddily spooned the ice cream into a cup. I was lying on the floor of my room, writing my will and Googling things like “can you have two appendixes?? Because your friends and coworkers are (skeptically) supportive and it seems like word has started to spread, you’ll forget that the entire city of Portland didn’t receive a press release about your endeavors. Day four was monumental for two reasons.

Hats off to Shane, who somehow managed to do more than sleep and yell at people while undergoing this experience. Just when you thought I might have learned my lesson about dabbling in fad diets for the sake of creative expression, I’ve made my miraculous return to the stage of questionable eating habits. My co-workers were more excited than I was, not that there was a high bar for that. If the single metric of success for this diet was weight loss, I guess you could chock it up to a win. With my ice cream en route, it was time to start laying out a game plan. Were I not 100% sure that my appendix had been removed just a year before, I would have been sure that it had burst all over again. I wasn’t. But these minor victories don’t outweigh the fact that, for the most part, I was a ravenous monster with little to no impulse control whose only saving grace was the fact that I genuinely enjoyed the single food item I allowed myself to eat for an entire week and had four days off of work to support a nap-heavy schedule.

One pint Oatmeal Cookie I was just barely able to drag my lifeless body to one Barre3 class, where I told them I’d just recovered from a two week long bout of the flu so that my reputation wouldn’t be ruined by my performance.

Because how bad could it actually be, right? This was the first day that the diet started to take a toll on my body. This was my first day back at work since kicking off the diet and the point at which I truly recognized how exhausted I was. My friends affectionately call me the Dairy Queen, partially because they don’t want me to be in a functional relationship anytime within the next 30 or so years, but also because my love of dairy-based products and my ability to process them knows no bounds. To enable Verizon Media and our partners to process your personal data select 'I agree', or select 'Manage settings' for more information and to manage your choices. I was also more hydrated than I’ve ever been in my life, because in moments of desperation two bottles of water can pass as a satisfying meal.

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