Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: JC Scull from Gainesville, Florida on January 19, 2020: Shing Araya from Cebu, Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Discover and share Funny Death Quotes. ~Lao Tzu Absolutely hillarious death one-liners! it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, To me dying is like getting out of one car and into another. It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance. Funny quotes about. —George Carlin (comedian), "Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. —Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." The trouble with quotes about death is that 99 99 percent of them are made by people who are still alive. Funny death quotes. —Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Wish they'd worked less, they'd been nicer, they'd opened orphanages for kittens. Death is just a reformation in something even more magnificent. Death is inevitable—some might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. People dying is never funny. Eddie Izzard quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Let’s face it—at my age, I’m very pleased to be anywhere." —Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." No one knows whether death may not even turn out to be the greatest blessings of human beings. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I’m not there, I carry on as usual." it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, See more love quotes on MindBootstrap. Ralph Waldo Emerson. Emily Dickinson. —Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Heres Tom with the Weather. When one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language. Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And you know what's worse than a soldier dying in vain? it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, —Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." One thing we need not forget is that death and its entourage of surrounding customs (funerals, wakes, cremation, burial, etc) can actually be funny. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life and it's also something all of us have in common. Here we have 35 of the best funny, humorous, funny sayings on life, death, health and wealth. If from the beginning your attitude is 'Yes, death is part of our lives,' then it may be easier to face. —Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" For it is to think one knows what one does not know. Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. —Katharine Hepburn (actress) "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Wait...Fuck you! —Demetri Martin (comedian), "I intend to live forever or die trying." it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, on April 20th 1933at 10:38PM and weighed in at a healthy 7 lbs. . —Brian Clough (football team manager), "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Discover and share funny death quotes. it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, —Johnny Carson (talk show host), "I am prepared to meet my maker. provided, of course, that he really is dead." —David Gerrold (author), "Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt." -What’s it feel like to be dead for 200 years? The largest collection of death one-line jokes in the world. it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Showing search results for "Funny Dying" sorted by relevance. And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up. 8595 matching entries found. it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, —Yogi Berra (baseball player), "I'm very pleased to be here. —Dave Barry (author), "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours." I just broke my personal record of days without dying today. Showing search results for "Funny Death" sorted by relevance. Studying. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? The living are getting rarer." How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live? Some of the most compelling words about death can be found in death quotes. For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. He was in the electric chair. it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, I have a gold watch that belonged to him. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course." Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. it's funny how forever never seems to last, Ten Of The Most Impressive Death Quotes Ever Written . Custom and user added quotes with pictures. I cannot forgive my friends for dying; I do not find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing. It's funny the way most people love the dead. Instead of avoiding thinking about it, it is better to understand its meaning. He writes to educate, entertain, inform and amuse. —EW Howe (author), "There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. —Chic Murray (comedian), "When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is." —Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." Protest puppets are always funny. it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, —Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. Death is allowing your job own you like a slave. —Wilson Mizner (playwright), "The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers." Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935, a spinal disc in 1974, a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988, and his prostate on March 27th, 2000. Immortal mortals, mortal immortals, one living the others death and dying the others life. —Woody Allen (comedian), "The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates." SHARE. —Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." People either loved us or hated us. Death does away with time. Joshua Burns The entire deaths of Vietnam died in vain. —Heinrich Heine (author), "Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth." "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." It's more soldiers dying in vain. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. —HH Munro (author), "My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn’t wish to meet. 1. Chuck Palahniuk. —Douglas MacArthur (general), "Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up." I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. Discover and share funny death quotes. That's what's worse.

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